Fatherhood

Last Sunday, my daughter sat beside me and said, "Oh Ma, Happy Father's Day!" And of course, she's right. I am both the father and the mother in our household; sometimes more mom than dad, at others more dad than mom. It could be confusing sometimes.

When my children were younger, I spent hours and hours worrying about what the effects of not having a father figure may have in their lives. I had all these little nightmares, which unfortunately were not remedied by reading all these parenting books. I was a mess for awhile but I could have saved myself the trouble. You see, when the universe sees a vacuum, it graciously steps in to fill it.

Through the years, my children were never wont of father figures. Of course, first and foremost, there is my Dad. Having four daughters, I think he kinda enjoys being the strict authoritarian when it came to my boys, straightening them out with gusto. His all-time favorite: checking the length of their fingernails, making sure they're neat and squared away. And woe is the boy who did not have the foresight to cut his nails before seeing Papa.

There was my Tito E, who helped me take care of my sons when they were sick and who would sometimes sleep at our house when I had to fly off somewhere for work. Tito E was a rock-and-rolling dude in his younger days but to my children, he was sweet and sensitive. I could still remember him putting F asleep on his lap. I miss him.

And of course, there are my sisters' boyfriends. My kids loved these guys, especially when they find the time to play with them or just hang out with them.

Being both mother and father is challenging, that's for sure. And for that I always remember this one parenting trick that my mom told me: Take it one day at a time.

image from mamanyc.net