Eighteen-Year-Old Me

23 Pebrero
Kay bilis ng pangyayari. Biruin mo, sina Ramos at Enrile nagresayn! Hindi yata kapanipaniwala pero, basta, ang galing! Isa itong pagkakataon upang tuluyan nang bumagsak ang diktadura ni Marcos. Ngunit nakakatakot din. Iba na ang labanan. Kasama na ang militar. Mapagkakatiwalaan ba natin sila?

***

Kagabi pa lamang ay nagmobilisa na ang Ateneo. Binuhay muli ang Homebase upang maorganisa ang mga mag-aaral na nais makatulong. Mayroon nang itinayong Homebase sa Gate 4 ng Camp Aguinaldo. Mayroon ding mga estudyanteng nagbantay sa Radio Veritas. Ako, sa EDSA napadpad.

Sa EDSA, parang piyesta. May mga nagtitinda ng fishballs, mais, at mangga. May mga naglalako ng mga dilaw na lobo at kung anu-ano pang mga souvenirs. Walang tigil ang mga tao sa kalalakad.

Mga bandang alas tres ng hapon, lumabas si Enrile. Mula sa Camp Aguinaldo, tumungo siya sa Camp Crame. Pinaligiran ang kanyang daraanan ng mga taong nakakapit-bisig. Sandali lamang siyang nagsalita, nagpasalamat, ngunit tuwang-tuwa ang lahat. Para bang may panibago silang bayani. Nakakabingi ang kanilang pagsigaw ng "Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!" Sana'y hindi sila nagkakamali.

24 Pebrero
Tanghali na nang makarating ako sa EDSA. Nakita ko ang dalawa kong kaibigan at napadpad kami sa White Plains. Doon, nagdarasal ang mga Atenista ng rosaryo. Iyon ang una sa marami pang rosaryong nadasal ko nang araw na iyon.

Samantalang tila piyesta sa EDSA, may kaganapan na sa Santolan, sa Libis. May barikada roon ang Ateneo na mga 100 katao. Nang mga alas dos medya ng tanghali, dumating ang mga sundalong lulan ng jeep at trak. Nais nilang dumaan. Nagkaroon ng kaunting kaguluhan nang magpumilit ang mga sundalong makapasok sa barikada ngunit hindi sila naka-ubra. Malakas ang barikada. Nagsigawan ang lahat. Panalo na raw sila. Bumalik ang mga sundalong armado na ng mga bayoneta. Ginamit nila ito sa barikada. Walang nagawa ang barikada kundi paraanin sila.

Habang ikinukuwento sa amin nga pangyayaring iyon, may lalaking nagsabing kailangan ng tulong sa Santolan. Sinabi niyang mapanganib doon. OK lang kung ayaw magpunta. Pero, sumige na rin kami at halos lahat ng nasa White Plains ay nagtungo sa Santolan.

***

Ginawang mga frontliners ang mga babae. Baka sakali raw na mapukaw namin ang mga puso ng mga sundalo. Mayroon pa kaming mga tangang puting rosas.

25 Pebrero
Ala una ng umaga, nandito pa rin kami, naghihintay. Karamihan ay tulog na. Ano ngayon kung marumi ang daan basta makatulog. Mga alas tres, sa gitna ng aming pagdarasal, dumating ang aking mga magulang. Sinusundo ako. Baka mapaano pa raw ako. Ayokong sumama sa kanila. May pagtawag, mas kailangan ako dito.

***

Pagkagat ng dilim, nagkaroon ng misa. Wala pa ring tigil ang pagdating ng mga tao na galing kung saan-saang pangkat at lugar. Mga alas otso, pumasok ako sa isang sasakyan para maka-idlip ng sandali. Makakatulog nalang ako nang biglang may nagpapalo sa gilid ng sasakyan. Sinigawan ko yung kumag na nag-iingay ngunit tinawanan lang niya ako. "Wala na si Marcos! Umalis na siya," sabay sabi niya.

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Hindi ba noong isang araw lang ay may nagbalita na ng ganyan? Tsismis na naman 'yan.

Ngunit, totoo!

Biglang nagsigawan ang mga tao. May mga nagsasayawan pa. Umalingawngaw ang mga busina ng mga sasakyan. Nagliwanag ang madilim na langit dala ng pagsiklab ng mga paputok. May mga nagyayakapan. May mga nag-iiyakan. Sa EDSA, tila may walang katapusang karnabal na ginaganap.

26 Pebrero
Alas dos ng bumalik kami sa Ateneo. Bilang pasasalamat, nag-alay ng misa sa Colayco. At pagkatapos, kinanta ng lahat ang "Bayan Ko." Ngayon ko lang talagang masasabing, ang bayan ko.



Hango sa "Apat na araw sa talaarawan ng isang Atenista," Matanglawin, Marso 23, 1986

Mamang Sorbetero

"Lula, aysim, aysim." Baby S is doing some serious baby talk. She was tugging at my skirt while saying over and over again, "Lula, aysim!" And still I couldn't understand what she was saying. Only when I heard that oh-so familiar kalembang of Mamang Sorbetero's bells did I get it: ICE CREAM!

I said, "Sophie, ice cream." And she goes, "Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream." And from then on, whenever I'm home in the afternoons, we had taken to waiting for Mamang Sorbetero and his tub of cool delights.

Baby S and I eat the ice cream with gusto, biting into the sweet crispy cone with greed. And there, sitting side by side on a rock under the shadow of our mango tree, I could only surmise, "Life doesn't get sweeter than this."

For Adults Only

It was strictly a no-kids affair. With my mom and my dad, we went off to spend a day in Batangas. My memories of Lian, the town where my father grew up, are sketchy at best. On occasions when we came to visit, I remember there was a lot of eating and a lot of mahjong-playing. I remember having a bright yellow printed dress made for me by one of the neighborhood mananahis and taking a long walk from the church to the cemetery for the burial of one of our elders. I remember walking alongside very old folks; I am told that our relatives lead very long lives.

But what I remember most about Batangas is Matabungkay where my sisters and I spent most of our childhood summers swimming and building sand castles. We'll be at the beach first thing in the morning and wouldn't leave until the sun was way past down. We practically lived in sweaty, sandy bathing suits but it was great. And by the end of our stay, our skin would have turned dangerously dark but who cares? We had enough to fill up paragraphs of that What I Did Last Summer essay for when school starts.

This was such a day, but of course, fast forward to many, many years later.




Waves and waves of sunshine





Sinigang na lapu-lapu, inihaw na liempo at talong chowed down on a gently rolling balsa





Jack, San Miguel, the sun, the sea: Perfect!





Happiness!

Girl Power!

Having no date on V-Day, my daughter E decided to take matters into her own hands. Sunday night, she texted her best girlfriends (P, J, and A) and invited them for a V-Day dinner at our house.

I've known these girls practically all their lives. They went to the same school, some of them from preschool to high school. I've seen them on numerous birthday celebrations, cheering competitions, dances, proms, what-have-you. I've seen them grow from cute little toddlers into the lovely ladies they are today. P is actually working now while E, J, and A are still in college. And I love it that every once in a while, they are comfortable enough to share what's happening in their lives with me.

These girls, they're no helpless little slouches, which is why I love them so much. Here, a peek at what happened that night.




My girls





An attempt to "romanticize" the evening





J and P, how very red!





On the menu, lechon kawali, buttered shrimps, at ang walang kamatayang corn soup!





"Sali naman ako dyan!"





Baby S with her mom and P





You have got to see this!!! Love, love, love it!

Happy Birthday Yu Yu!

Saying I Love You!

I've never been a big fan of the whole Valentine's Day shebang. I've never bought into the whole make-her-feel-special-say-I-love-you-today thing. I've always thought that I love you should be said every day, or at least often enough to make a difference. I didn't always feel this way but things happen and you realize that now is the only time you have.

I wrote this many years ago when a dear uncle passed away and I just thought about it now...

Tonight I would like to remember because remembering is all I have. It is our memory that would live on. And it is my memory of my Tito Ernie that I would like never to forget: my memory of his love for me , my memory of his love for my children. Just like that, he is gone but I can still feel him, feel his pain. A part of me knows that he is in a happy place now and that I should be glad for it. But a part of me is just so very sad. It's like some of my life force went away with him.

Everything else can go to shit but love, it is love that remains.

I don't think that I ever told Tito Ernie how much I loved him, and that I would always regret. I don't want ever to have that kind of regret again.

E's Labor Day

Two years ago, I woke up to my daughter E twisting and turning in bed. She was in the first throes of labor and it wasn't so very nice. But having given birth to four children, I told her not to panic. I told her that she wouldn't give birth until way later for sure! But because the father of her boyfriend was a bit excited, E was rushed to the hospital right away. True enough, she was nowhere near where she was supposed to be. And our OB-Gyne told us to wait.

It was Valentine's Day, the last day that I would have liked my granddaughter to celebrate her birthday. It was just too cheesy. In between her contractions, I half-joked, "Eka, not today please. If you could just hold on until midnight, it would be February 15!"

But there was no stopping the little babe in her womb. Sometime after lunch, I think, she was wheeled into the delivery room. I was worried to death. My baby was having a baby. And I was, quite frankly, a little bit out of my mind. When we went into the room to wait, I just started crying.

In a couple of hours, E gave birth to Baby S. And our lives were never the same.

Happy birthday, Baby S! We love you super much!

I Love Porac!

We were supposed to be out of the city first thing in the morning. But because of some urgent work appointment (my bad!), we couldn't leave until way past four in the afternoon. Which is why we ended up in the dark, dark regions of SCTEX at a most ungodly hour with only a handful of vehicles passing us by. It was a scene straight out of Jeepers Creepers, if you asked me. When we took a wrong turn, heading straight instead of going right (again, my bad!), I cringed inside. Oh please, let us find an exit... fast.

I'm remembering all this because the kids and I just saw Due Date, a funny road trip movie with Robert Downey, Jr. and that guy who ran around without any pants on in The Hangover. I love road trip movies because they always have these incredibly surreal twists and turns that sometimes you'd wish would happen in real life: making out with Brad Pitt (Thelma and Louise), winning in Las Vegas (Rain Man), hanging out with Jack Nicholson (Easy Rider), and everybody dancing to Superfreak (Little Miss Sunshine)!

OK, so I didn't end up making out with Brad Pitt or dancing Superfreak but when I saw the exit sign to Porac, I let out a big sigh of relief! I love Porac!

Here, some of my favorite road trip movies. Don't think, just watch :)

Unplanned, unscheduled

The best dates for me are the spontaneous, spur of the moment ones. The unplanned, unscheduled event that materializes out of thin air because you just happen to be at the same place at the same time or you just have to see the other's face. You wake up to a seemingly ordinary day only to end it swapping stories with a girlfriend or drinking beer with colleagues. Those moments are precious.

My mom likes such on-the-fly sorties. From out of the blue, she'll invite everyone to dinner or to the beach or to Baguio, whatever. And maybe that's why I like the impromptu. I like not knowing what's going to happen next. Of course, the carefully planned event is always a good thing but every so often, it's nice to be suprised.

And so it was that I met up with a bunch of work friends. K and I were just texting each other, asking how the other was, when we thought of meeting up that very same night. She was free, and so were O and B, and that's how we ended up talking and drinking and laughing and just enjoying each other's company. And because we were in O and B's studio, we took a couple of pictures (the lighting was so good hehe). Till next time, guys!

Hilarious!

My inbox is quickly filling up with all sorts of V-Day spam. This one's really funny...



Dating Humor:
How To Know You're In Love

Along with this...



Dating Humor:
How To Avoid Trapped Arm Whilst Cuddling In Bed

Which reminds me of this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0eStJlnNKo

Mirrors

Spent yesterday writing, transcribing, proofreading... which basically meant that I was holed up in my room the whole day. Lucky me I had just bought a pair of distractions: two full-length bedroom mirrors. I got them the very day I had my breakdown scene at PLDT. Not wanting to destroy the white walls with my amateur carpentry skills, I waited for a professional to hang it nice and precise. And by yesterday afternoon, there they were.

I take a lot of pictures of myself, I've noticed, standing in front of a mirror: be it in a bathroom, a bedroom, a changing room, a hallway, what-have-you. Vanity! And I'm pretty sure these twin babies will be seeing a lot of me for years to come. In the meantime, I've slipped in my favorite photographs on their frames. When Baby S saw all those photographs of her, she smiled and said, "Danda!" We taught her well!

Get Mad!

I don't like getting mad. It consumes too much of my energy. It gives me wrinkles. It ruins my day. However, there are times when you just have to absolutely get mad; call out the incredible green monster in you to show everybody that you mean business.

I had just come from my mini-break, which meant I was super relaxed. Didn't want to work. Didn't want to move. But my daughter E wanted to call out the green monster in me. It's been almost two months since we moved to our new home but our PLDT line was still nowhere in sight. When she first requested the transfer, the PLDT guys told her it would take two to three weeks. Seven weeks and we still didn't have a line.

My daughter E knows the green monster well. About a month or so ago, we placed two orders of pizza, one medium and one large, from Brooklyn. When the rider finally came, almost two hours after our call, he came in with just the one medium pizza but charged us for two. Late order, wrong order: it just got to me. And so, I called Brooklyn, lashed out, and demanded to speak to the manager.

Last Monday, we went to the PLDT offices. We grabbed a number, attended to other errands, and even managed to grab a taco and waffle before traipsing back.

Our number was finally called and we promptly explained the situation to the lady behind the customer service desk. She will look into the status of our request, she said. And that's when she started fiddling with her mouse, looking intently on her monitor for several minutes. At the end of her seemingly important posturing, she told us that our request was never entered into the system. And that's when the incredible green monster came out. My daughter had already made several calls to PLDT and had followed it up physically by going to that same branch a week ago, and now they tell us that the request was never made?! I lost it!

I did not wait for one and a half hours, I told her, just so she could tell me that they didn't do anything about our request. I demanded that they make the request immediately and that our line be installed by the end of the week. I was speaking loudly, attracting the looks of everyone, but I didn't care. The lady looked like she was going to cry at one point but I didn't care. She took leave and said that I should speak to their OIC. When the OIC came out, she apologized for the request not being made but I was still not appeased. I asked for her complete name, her cell number, and the reference number of our request. Again I told them that I would expect the line to be installed by the end of the week.

I was fuming but I didn't care. Sometimes, we're just too nice, I think. Sometimes, we just have to get mad so that these companies get it into their heads the true meaning of the words customer service.

P.S. Our line was installed Thursday, three days after I turned green.
Another P.S. Brooklyn Pizza sent us a complimentary pizza the next day. Whatever!

Up In The Clouds

I am not here still. My mind is up in the clouds, taking a vacation on a mountaintop hideaway.

After a stressful week trying to snag an elusive interview, I was happy to get out of the city, to take a trip somewhere distant where phones are not buzzing intermittently. It took awhile to get there. We had to go through two long and winding highways (and of course, ended up taking a wrong turn mwahaha), pass through a town that calls it a day by 9PM, drive through a desert of lahar, and then go up a mountain. What could possibly be worth all this trouble?

Silence... up in the mountain, there is peace, there is quiet. Up in the mountain, you can choose not to think, choose not to do.

And so we slept, ate, swam, walked, and slept some more.

Could you blame me then if I am not here, still?





Where we stayed





Our favorite spot, from here you can feel the wind blowing through the mountain, hear the leaves dancing from their branches





It was so peaceful that I ended up sleeping everywhere. I took a nap here...





... and by the pool, under the sun





... and on this hammock, under the shade





Myra, super thanks for having us! Here she is with her son Joseph...





... who prepared this wonderful lunch of Grilled Peppered Liempo and Malunggay Pesto. That's his dad, whom I would forever fondly call Sir.





One last look :)