44

My college roommate M once observed that I always did everything ahead of everybody else. And in some respects, well, that's true.

While my playmates were busy with their cups and saucers, I was busy with my little crushes. I started having babies while my girlfriends were knee-deep into their careers. And by the time they started throwing birthday parties for their children, I was, for all intents and purposes, a single mother.

When I became a grandmother two years ago, one of my friends, who was still happily single, walked up to me and said, "Jing, I don't even have a kid yet and you have a grandchild?! Pressure!!"

I've never been much of a sprinter, so I don't really know why I've been rushing all this time. Fortunately, all this rushing has its unintended benefits.

At 44, I could sort of see the finish line, at least as far as steering my kids towards their futures is concerned. This is my eldest's last year in college, and my second's first. My third is on his last year in high school, and my youngest on his second. With a little bit of arithmetic, I gather that I'd be working like a dog for the next four years, but after that ... after ... I could take things a little easier. And this thought just excites me no end!

What would it be like, I wonder, to not be singularly responsible for the lives of four individuals? I'll be their mom for the rest of their lives, of course, but just the thought of not having to buy Finetti and shaving foam and hotdogs and Nido Junior, unless I wanted to, is quite a thrill. I'd probably end up sleeping till two in the afternoon, and I won't even be 50! Mwahahahaha Coolness!

Seriously, I can't wait!