To S

I could still hear his voice telling me that I was going to be OK, saying how beautiful I was, assuring me that everything was going to be alright. I had just gotten myself into a traumatic, almost gruesome accident; I was in a state of shock. And here was this guy who dared not leave my side: soothing me, comforting me.

That happened more than two decades ago.

For the better part of the year after that, I had to work with S on a regular basis. He was a charming guy, very easy on the eyes, but I always thought that he was a lightweight. It wasn't surprising to find us arguing about one point or another; I can be quite stubborn, you see, and I don't like losing very much. But at the back of my mind, I never forgot that this was the guy who was there for me when I needed someone.

Today, I found out that S wasn't such a lightweight. Reading about him on the pages of a book, I found out how utterly trustworthy he was, what lengths he would go in the name of friendship, and how his easygoing demeanor may have masked problems I never thought to ask.

I am very sorry that I had to find out about this in a book; I should have asked.